Debutante

When I was little girl I would stand by the balconies and watch the ladies with lords of different lands as they spun gracefully in their flowing gowns and grandiose jewels and I couldn’t wait to grow up, to come of age, to be a debutante...

Today here I am, my heart races as I get set to take my first steps into the society...

Today I shall waltz, today I shall hold conversations, today I shall charm with poise, grace and beauty...

Today I shall look to the balconies, and bid farewell to the little girl that was I...

I grew up watching him spar and fence, I grew up watching him grow, stand tall and rise gloriously. Today here he is, kneeling with a corsage...

The music starts, he leads me through, I hold my head high, I recollect all the rules, I remember all the steps and then he looks into my eyes with a gentle smile...

In that moment, in that step, one barrier breaks, warmth washes over me, as the moon of the winter solstice suddenly gleams brighter...

The music ends we all bow, clap and then he requests another dance...

The evening follows each dance after another, breaking barriers a dance at a time, the demure smiles growing to chuckles and unabashed laughter...

Flushed cheeks, sparkling eyes, a gentle heave and the tango ends...

He leads me away to the gardens, conversations grow to moments...

A gaze that lasts, just long enough for Fort-Knox to fall...

A hasty retreat, a proper farewell...

Now begins, the unending wait for the 'morrow, when he shall return, or shall he?

Questions

Every second we end up making decisions about every little thing, we don't even realize the number of decisions we take in a minute. For instance i just took a decision to write about questions and i decided to start it with decisions and i decided to type it now but format it later however, correct my spellos in process. phew!! that's enough decisions for 1 minute don't u think?

Every decision however is based on the fact that there is a choice and hence a question. Questions are the bane of my existence I am somehow forever stuck answering people all around. Be it giving reasons, justifying myself or explaining things, been there and done it all. Sometimes people call me an insufferable know it all but i can't help but answer if i know, or question if i don't...

Questions are a funny thing, they can put you at peace if answered satisfactorily, they can raise doubts if answered with assumptions, they can be a cause of great worry if not answered and they can cause anger or disappointment if met with ignorance. A fantastic gamete of emotions for something we have been doing subconsciously since or birth.  

It still however isn't the answer that matters, but the question. It is always what the question is? Why it even arose? how could it have been avoided? why wasn't it answered before it as asked? what led to the thought that gave birth to this question? 

Every question leads to another question and son on and so forth... so does every lie... so does that make a question a lie? Then what does this equation make answers? Do answers even matter? Just in the same manner that a truth told after several lies doesn't...

Then what is point of all the questions we ask each day? What do we achieve? Answers? direction? the truth? a higher sense of being? Or is it just a petite human reason like personal satisfaction...

Go figure...

--
Carivoyance