Life's just unfair, every-time i think things are finally getting okay they just come crashing down like a house of cards. I'm honestly getting crushed between keeping everyone happy. I do the right thing for one and the other is upset. I just can't seem to get it right! Why can't everybody just be happy for me or accept what i want. Ooops... wait no body even asked what i wanted. They just try to tell me whats good for me and i'm supposed to make everything happen!! what a says has to happen and what B says has to happen and what about me?? I do appreciate advice and yes i do want to take it but sometimes you just can't make it happen but no it's still entirely my fault.
Financial pressures are the worst., i can't wait till i don't have to rely on anyone for finances. Just because someone else has me by their purse strings they marionette me around and then the others don't like the decisions that i have to make because of this. I thought that the "Rein of Tears" had finally come to an end but no. Alas i still have to cry for the choices forced upon me by others as my own mistakes. It's just unfair. Life's just unfair.
You know what's the worst part, it's feeling like being stabbed and bleeding but you don't actually bleed out and there's no relief, not even in tears. Despair and dereliction is what marks that which is supposed to be the happiest time of my life. I feel like laughing a really really sad laugh. Grin and life goes on.
Then they ask me why are you becoming the ice queen....
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